Please complete the following relationship questionnaire. We are asking you these questions so we can match you with an attractive someone who is also deathly afraid of broccoli.

Remember, it’s important to be honest when answering the questionnaire – even if you have to lie a bit. This is not a test, so relax and have fun and don’t think about all the people here at our dating service who will be laughing at your transparent falsehoods. Be yourself, even if yourself has no friends and can’t remember where it put its glasses.

            When it comes to socializing, do you prefer to:

  • Hang out with close friends and family
  • Be around lots of new people
  • Talk to your bearded water dragon in iambic pentameter

            If your friends had to describe your personality, they’d say you were:

  • The quiet, behind-the-scenes type
  • The life of the party
  • Unconscious

            If you have free time, would you rather:

  • Curl up with a good book
  • Invite a friend over to watch a movie
  • Plot a takeover of Ukraine.

            When you have a problem, do you usually:

  • Keep it to yourself because you don’t like to burden others
  • Talk about it because you like getting feedback and ideas from other people
  • Binge on Twinkies

         Do you believe it’s more important to:

  • Enjoy what you do
  • Make enough money to do the things you dream of doing
  • Get to the supermarket in time for two-for-one Twinkie day

            You just got a big bonus at work. You:

  • Spend a little of it, but decide to save most of it
  • Spend a lot of it on something you really want, but save the rest
  • Floss

            When it comes to your family:

  • You’re very close to your relatives and like to be involved with them
  • You love everybody in the family, but only get together for certain events
  • If Aunt Sarah pinches you on the cheek one more time, you’ll kill her

            Your place is a mess. So you:

  • Need to clean it up, as soon as possible
  • Decide it can wait because no one’s coming over anytime soon
  • Move to Fort Wayne, Indiana


           If you had to narrow it down to one word, you’d say you were:

  • Intellectual
  • Creative
  • Hairy 

    Congratulations on finishing! Now, just remember, no matter how you scored on this questionnaire, there’s still someone out there for you and we’re still willing to take your money.