Can’t remember where you left your eyeglasses? Don’t recall why you walked into this room carrying a flower pot? Having difficulty recollecting if you parked the car at the airport or in Reykjavik?

You are probably suffering from getting older. Eventually, it happens to most of us.

According to the most recent research, when we reach the age of 40 or so, every minute of the day we lose 17,211 brain cells, and even more if we’re watching a Republican presidential debate. With so many brain cells gone, it’s tough to remember why you ordered falafel at the Mexican restaurant or where you put the car keys, even if you put them in your own hands.

But don’t worry — there are things you can do about it. When your memory starts to go, there are definitely ways to compensate. Here are some:

Write down the names of all your vegetables on little Post-it stickers. You don’t have to use first names. Attach the stickers to the appropriate vegetables, so you will have instant recall if you want to cook something. Remember not to put a sticker on a tomato. It’s a fruit! Use a Sharpie instead.

Before you leave the house, make sure the kitchen isn’t on fire.

Each night, when you go to bed, make a list of all the people in your immediate family. Draw pictures of their faces, focusing on particular features, like the gaps in their teeth and the name tags on their shirts.

If you forget to shut off the water while running a bath, take a shower at the gym instead while your house is being drained.

When you’re in the car, and can’t remember where you’re supposed to be going, pull over to the side of the road, turn on the radio and listen to a ball game. If it’s a baseball game, and it goes into extra innings, by the time it’s over, you will have remembered where you were going or been arrested. Either way, you’ll be able to get home (in certain cases, with a police escort).

Develop mnemonic devices that will help you recall important shards of information, such as wallet, keys, lunch and where you have put your other mnemonic devices, including the Samsung XGT1000.

If you find yourself in the middle of the supermarket and are not sure whether you are supposed to buy fabric softener sheets or sweet Italian sausages, cover your embarrassment by buying both and inventing a new dish.

If you are in that same supermarket aisle and see someone you know you know but just can’t remember the person’s name, always remember that in the supermarket there are other aisles.

When you have a great idea for an entertaining and humorous column about losing your memory, make sure to immediately write it down and put that sheet of paper where you can find it — not in a damn flower pot you are carrying all over the house.

By the way, if you’re still looking for them, your eyeglasses are right there on top of your head.

Advertisements