Even though I am a card-carrying “foodie” who was eating food and carrying cards before it became cool, there are a number of foods and dishes that I never heard of before about March 23, 2008.

Fortunately, I have since done my research, and have discovered what all these things are that we are eating. I am more than willing to share the fruits — and vegetables — of my research.

Arugula — Arugula is Italian for expensive. It is even more expensive when instead of getting arugula, you get two rugalas.

Broccoli rabe — Pronounced as if you were going to steal something from your broccoli, broccoli rabe is also sometimes called rapini, raab, turnip broccoli and even, occasionally, Herbert. It is related to cabbage and cauliflower, although it was not invited to the wedding since it is just a second cousin once removed.

Carpaccio — This is a dish of raw meat or the first rescue ship to reach the Titanic. Unfortunately, when it got there, instead of life preservers or even life savers, it only had raw meat to offer survivors. They declined.

Ceviche — Spanish for food poisoning, it’s made from raw fish. The raw fish is supposed to be “cooked” by sprinkling it with citrus juices. No, I don’t believe that either.

Kale — Kale was invented in 2006 by free-range hedge fund managers who decided to flood the market with long green leaves that couldn’t be used for anything else. Frequently confused with spinach or cardboard, kale is considered a wonder food by those who invested in the kale hedge fund. Today, kale is everywhere and you can find it in salads, chips, stir fries, juices, baked dishes and Jell-O. It can be eaten cooked, raw or sautéed with Cocoa Krispies.

Meyer lemon — A lemon first eaten by my Uncle Meyer, who always puckered.

Panini — The name of the Italian farmer who, totally by accident, discovered arugula on his farm in the northern province of Bruschetta.

Pomegranate — Technically, it’s a fruit but a fruit that you don’t actually eat. Instead, you open it up and then excavate the interior to find thousands of little seeds inside that you don’t actually eat either.

Pork belly — It comes from the belly of the pig. We started eating it when, for health reasons, we decided to stop eating bacon, which also comes from the belly of the pig, but from a less affluent part of the neighborhood. Originally popular in Asian cuisine, pork belly is now available worldwide, including in Cocoa Krispies.

Polenta — During the record-setting rice drought of ’06, polenta gallantly stepped forward to fill the need for a food that sounded exotic but was still basically beige and that you could eat with a fork or spoon. A mushy grain that’s a little like corn meal and a little like oatmeal, it’s not at all like a regular meal.

Quinoa — Pronounced quinoa, this is an ancient grain that was used by the Incas to distinguish themselves from the Aztecs.

Tiramisu — An elegant coffee-based dessert that is a finely calibrated mixture of tira and misu.

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