This is a winter weather advisory for the surrounding region and all those who can’t remember that yes, you do turn in the direction of the skid even if it does seem counter-intuitive.

This winter weather advisory is in place until 6 a.m. next Thursday morning or until the precise moment when it becomes so hot out we burn our hands when we touch the steering wheel.

Local government officials have been monitoring conditions by looking out the window and also by watching television meteorologists show off their Dopplers. In addition, they have been watching Doppler show off himself, mainly by singing an a capella version of “Sunrise, Sunset” from “Fiddler on the Roof.”

Conditions are worsening. Taylor Swift is getting more popular.

Forecasters are predicting that the wind-chill factor will continue to plummet and soon will meet the temperature-humidity index on the way up. They are considering going to the movies together or at least looking to see what’s on Netflix. They have decided not to be on the roads unless absolutely necessary and have already stocked up on bread and milk.

Precipitation should continue until late afternoon when it will be replaced by rain, sleet and hail and a swarm of locusts. Local residents should consider delaying their morning travel, particularly if they are allergic to locusts. Local locusts should consider alternative routes to avoid the swarm.

Freezing rain is likely for late morning, followed by icy rain followed by rainy ice followed by a wintry mix which is gluten-free and never been tested on animals.

The precipitation could stop as early as 9 a.m. but then again it could continue until Sunday. Local residents might reconsider the idea of playing beach volleyball on their front lawns.

Temperatures will stay well below freezing until you find where you put your gloves.

Crews are monitoring the roads and making sure they don’t go anywhere. If you have found a road that is missing, call local authorities and proceed with extreme caution. Stay off hilly streets, streets that are not hilly and avenues that begin with the letter S.

The crews will be spreading a mixture of sea salt, freshly cracked pepper and free-range sand on any trouble spots. Remember, moisture on bridges and overpasses — particularly from balsamic vinegar — freezes first.

If you decide to travel, also use extreme caution because black ice is expected. Generally, black ice can be identified by its color. It’s black.

Do not speed, tailgate or make U-turns in the middle of the highway when driving if there are other drivers on the road. Some of them may be texting their friends or listening to syndicated sports talk shows on the radio and getting upset about a call the line judge made in the third quarter.

All in all, it would be better to drive on roads where there are no other drivers so you could listen to your own sports radio shows.

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