In an attempt to show that my brain is almost nearly as far gone as my body, I’ve decided to run a half marathon.

For some time now, I had wanted to do something that would challenge and stretch me. However, the rack wasn’t available.

So I have chosen to do the half marathon instead. I could have decided, I know, to try to run a full marathon. That would have been an even greater challenge, but I eliminated that possibility when I quickly discovered that a full marathon is, in fact, twice as long as a half marathon. Or as we experienced runners like to say, “Oh, damn, there’s another 13.1 miles to go and not a single taxi around.”

The germination of this idea to run a half marathon was that I had wanted to do something that would show the world — and show myself — that age is just a number, although some people may believe it’s a noun. (Those are people whose numbers tend to be much smaller.)

I wanted to show everyone that I was still as fit as I was back in the day, when, fortunately, I wasn’t fit at all.

I enter this challenge, however, with eyes wide open. I’ve attempted risky physical feats before, including continuing to websites that were not recommended.

Not only that, but I’ve dared to try to speak French, occasionally even with French people, and once, memorably, even tried to use the subjunctive tense.

But I do understand that this running a half marathon will be a far greater test.

It will require stamina, fortitude, a high tolerance for pain and a commitment to revamp my diet and reduce my mint chocolate chip ice cream consumption to levels not seen since the last millenium.

I know I’m going to have to seriously train for this running, which may include lots of running. Fortunately. I already run, frequently setting age-group records for slowest male (60-69) on the treadmill.

I run several days a week, maintaining a steady pace based on how much my legs hurt and are they keeping pace with how much my lungs hurt.

To do this right, I will also have to buy serious running gear, like head bands and wrist bands and high-quality running shoes that will cost more than my house did but that will allow me to use the word pronate whenever I feel like it.

But I am committed to it. The plan is to run the half marathon sometime next spring. That should give me more than enough time to figure out a reason why it’s really probably a better idea to try to speak better French instead.

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